do you remember being 20?

Dec. 5, 2006 - Do you remember being 20?
And in college ... and thinking you had all the right answers?

Today I was the 'last item on the agenda for Sociology of Education' at the college from which I graduated. One of my favorite folks has asked me to do this for now the third time ... and I am always surprised at the questions! Of course they, being trained to be public school teachers, always assume that I am some strange religious fanatic who believes that all public school teachers are horrible people that I am protecting my child from ... since I spent about 10 years total in public education, that's really not my particular stance.


First,
I'm facinated to find that many people believe isolation from the world is the only reason to homeschool. Asking the typical socialization questions. And some standardized testing and accountability questions. But this time there were two that blew me away.

The first blow me away question isn't a new question, but just always makes me so sad ... "Aren't you creating in your child a bias for your way of thinking? Afterall, they aren't being exposed to any other ways of thinking about the world. (I imply that to mean that since I'm a homeschooler, my worldview must be very small and limited.)

My consistent answer to bias questions in parenting or homeschooling is simple ... if, as a parent, you don't believe strongly enough in what you believe to pass it on to your children, you ought look at that and get yourself something else to believe in! That doesn't change because you are the homeschooling parent.

To which a vocal young woman says, "Aren't you just promoting elitism with such intolerance?" Do we ever really have conversations in which we use the words promoting and elitism outside of a college classroom?

My reply was that I believe it is my responsibility to teach my child and pass on my beliefs. If what you are seeking is tolerance as opposed to elitism, then I would suggest that tolerance runs both ways. I received lifted eyebrows and a sense that she at the very least understood what I was driving at. There are a hundred other things I wish I'd said, but quickly my mind was distracted by the most frightening question ...

It was frightening not because of the content but because it spoke to how completely we, as a general population, have totally given up on parents teaching their children ANYTHING and assume that it is the role of the public school teacher provide EVERYTHING a child needs. (I think I am beginning to see public school education and parents as the most seriously co-dependent relationship that exists!)

Question: So when you homeschool, how is a child taught sex education? They aren't in wellness or health classes.

WWWWWHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTT????? Since when should a child be educated on sex by someone other than their parent? I know it's part of a curriculum. I understand that some parents shirk this responsiblity (I was the director of a program for teen moms for about 6 years and believe me I know that kids aren't always getting information from their parents). Since when is it FIRST the responsibility of the public school and after that if the parent joins in, fine??

Give me a break! I know that my wear it on my sleeve face gave my shock away and I had to regain my composure quickly.

Again, we talked about parental responsibility vs. teacher responsibility. I told then the short version of how such topics were approached in our own home, revolving around our girl dogs and the boy dogs that were lurking around. About teachable moments and how to use those times to teach subects that were more meaningful when approached at a time when information was necessary(by the way these were 2nd and 3rd year education majors who couldn't tell me what a teachable moment was ... sad). Her follow up question was, " So when do you teach that?? What age?" I think she missed the point, so I went back to our personal experience ... and told her my son was 10 when the subject came up and required an explination. She suggested to me that maybe that was too late.

Some hopelessness began to settle in my mind regarding winning this young woman over to open-mindedness.

It never enter their minds that we might homeschool for a hundred reasons. So, here's my question. I'd like to stockpile a collection of homeschooling parents reasons for homeschooling. Would you be willing to post a comment or blog on your own site the reason you homeschool. I'm going to compile a notebook of your responses. My response will follow in the next couple of days.