Lean in ...

those are the words the Lord has continued to speak to me over the past year.

In the never quiet places in my heart I hear Him gently calling- "Just lean into me."

In the books I read, it's confirmed over and over.

Jim Cymbala says in Fresh Faith, "He does not want me out on my own, trying to earn merit stars from Him. He wants us, rather, to lean into Him, walking with him as closely as possible. He is not so much interested in our doing as in our receiving from him.

Beth Moore writes in her book, So Long, Insecurity of a time when her husband Keith was trying to teach her how to combat the enemy (rattlesnakes) on their thorny Texas hunting property. "Aim carefully, 'Lizabeth. Now lean in steady the thing with your shoulder, and when your ready, shoot like you mean it."

In the Secret of the Lord, Dannah Gresh shows us through Psalm 25:14 "The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant." i don't know about you, but when someone tells me a Secret, especially one that would be called a covenant, the only posture I can imagine is one where I am leaning in close- I wouldn't want to miss a thing He was saying.

And finally, Serita Ann Jakes challenges her readers to allow the Lord to become our secret keeper in The Princess Within. And while I want to hear what's being said when someone tells me a secret, you can bet your bottom dollar that when I'm the one telling the secret, my secret, I'm leaned in as closely as possible, and whomever is the recipient will likely have to lean right back to hear all that's being said. And even closer to hear all that isn't being said.

And so over the past year, I've been practicing. I've been trying to lean in and listen more intently. That's mean several intense Bible Studies. But more than that, some intense conversations with the Father. Questions I've been asking lately produced my weak attempt at the "fairy tale" a few days ago. I've been trying to find the root of the issues I face ... so when I asked, "why the need to hang onto the gray sweatshirt? what need does it meet? why the tendency to race back into silence? why do I let people see a mile wide and an inch deep? what property has the enemy stolen from me that's worth retrieving? what's up with the affinity for relationships that tend to be one-sided? why the desperate need for approval from someone who clearly doesn't care that much? why do I care soooo much about what other people think about me, just in general? and why the continued feelings of failure?" He answered with some painful lookiing back.

Last night as I read though, I came across something that made me lean in so closely that I fell right into the lap of my Abba Father ... After all the things Joseph endured ... in Genesis 41:50-51-It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father's household." "When Joseph held the first little baby boy in his arms, he said, I will name this boy Manasseh, because God has made me forget all evil that has been done to me." Jim Cymbala, Fresh Faith.

God has made me forget ... not he's wiped out every memory, He didn't make the events okay or permissible or without consequence. But He can deliver me from the grip that the enemy has on my heart because of the evil that has been done.

Good thing for AJ that I didn't know that's what Manasseh meant when he was born! I don't think he looks like a Manny at all! But today, because My God is a Manasseh God. I will rejoice. I will believe Him for that.

So today the Father is whispering to your heart ... even if the enemy is screaming in your ear, Lean In and hear what He has to say. If it causes confusion- you're listening to the wrong voice. Lean in closer. If it condemns you rather than convicting- you're listening to the wrong voice. Lean in closer. If it tells you you're anything other than a princess of the most high King- you're listening to the wrong voice. Lean in closer. Perhaps you'll find yourself in the lap of our Heavenly Father as well.