Sep. 5, 2008 - Oswald is at it again ....

I had to laugh right out loud when I read the first line because I was immediately reminded of all the times that I've said ... "Lord, are you seeing this???" as if there's something that I am able to perceive or comprehend that He (omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent God ...) might have been missing. And the times that I've been in prayer that I failed to remember that I'm just really there to cast my cares, bring my petitions - per scripture- and I treat it as if it's my journalistic responsibility to "keep Him up to Speed" on the situation.

My laughter turned to awe when the reality- I mean, sit on your heart and begin to alter it reality of the only thing I see (comprehend, understand, discern, pick up on ... etc.) is that thing which HE says, "Amy, do you see what's happening here? LET ME SHOW YOU ..."

And then my awe to a humbling, "Why would you ever even give me a glimpse when I am so self-centered, foolish, unteachable and unbelieving?"

And broken to the core when I'm gently reminded that anything He does has to do with only His Glory, His Purpose, His Plans ...

and in my weakness only He can use me because of Who He Is ... and what I admit, I Am Not.

THE MISSIONARY WATCHING


"Watch with Me." Matthew 26:40
"Watch with Me" - with no private point of view of your own at all, but watch entirely with Me. In the early stages we do not watch with Jesus, we watch for Him. We do not watch with Him through the revelation of the Bible; in the circumstances of our lives. Our Lord is trying to introduce us to identification with Himself in a particular Gethsemane, and we will not go; we say - "No, Lord, I cannot see the meaning of this, it is bitter." How can we possibly watch with Someone Who is inscrutable? How are we going to understand Jesus sufficiently to watch with Him in His Gethsemane, when we do not know even what His suffering is for? We do not know how to watch with Him; we are only used to the idea of Jesus watching with us.
The disciples loved Jesus Christ to the limit of their natural capacity, but they did not understand what He was after. In the Garden of Gethsemane they slept for their own sorrow, and at the end of three years of the closest intimacy they "all forsook Him and fled."
"They were all filled with the Holy Ghost" - the same "they," but something wonderful has happened in between - Our Lord's Death and Resurrection and Ascension; and the disciples have been invaded by the Holy Spirit. Our Lord had said - "Ye shall receive power after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you," and this meant that they learned to watch with Him all the rest of their lives.