what's going on ?

Sep. 3, 2007 - What is going on????
The summer flew by with a wealth of ... well, just stuff. Some of it good stuff. But for this mama ... some has been just plain hard.
And, I found myself this morning having to ask, "Lord, what more do you want from me?" Has it not been enough? Can there not be some easy point at which we rest and find relief from the things chasing us? I know all the Sunday School answers ... and in my heart I believe them. But today, as my head throbs and my heart aches ... it just doesn't seem that easy.
At some point in the past few months AJ asked the question ... "Why is it such a big deal when I __________?" And I'll let you fill in the blank for whatever sin you ask that question for ... I have a lifetime of things I can fill in that blank with ... I explained to him how sin sort of begins to feel 'right' after we do it for a while ... and that often time one sin leads to another ... and eventually we even become immune to that feeling of conviction when we do sin ...
at the time, it felt like a Sunday School answer with little real life application ...
afterall, sinning in college and even as a young adult was 'fun' ... part of the experience ... rebellion felt good for a season ... doing what I wanted to do was just that, what I wanted. I was most important ... I had a right ... I had my reasons ... I had something to prove.
Today ... the sins of my past are beginning to claim their place in my present. And now, I know why the Sunday School answer was the real life application ... because eventually sin's consequence always comes. There is forgiveness ... there is life after the fact ... but the pure joy that existed first is never there again.