funny thing is ...

for the past two days ... we've had one of the only tangible "bonus" that usually comes to a teacher.

SNOW DAYS!!!

There are rarely cash bonuses for educators. There aren't dividends that show up in the last paycheck of the year. Rarely is there money for continuing education or big fancy trips where school systems pay all the expenses. And when you work for a non-profit, Christian school ... well, there's only so much money to go around!

Mind you, I'm not complaining. Really, I'm not. Because I love the intangible benefits! The moment a kid gets the concept, the student who doesn't believe he can, but you gain his trust and finally he believes he can, the kid you love that everyone else hates ... the relationship part of my job is PRICELESS.

But, we're human. And so we look for the perks of the job! And while June and July are nice perks ... somehow when you are lesson planning or working a second job so that summer ends meet, the time "off" gets lost in the shuffle.

Snow days are unique ... they are like stolen moments in time. And this year, mine have been priceless. Yesterday started with Randy's arms around me, snow falling gently as we watched from our bed, propped on the headboard he made ... anticipating moments in the snow coming with kids that I love and friends that I treasure. Honestly, in the midst of a time of difficulty personally, I have never felt more blessed and loved by my Heavenly Father. When yesterday I could look around and count more than a hundred gifts that He has given me ... it made it hard to be too worried about the things that just aren't there right now. And a snow day is what God blessed me with so that I could know that He has me!

This morning, I woke again to snow, gently falling on the beautiful tree outside our bedroom window. And I talked to Jesus. I started out by just telling Him how beautiful everything outside looked ... and how much I love this unfinsihed, messy house. How thankful I was that He'd given me a place that I could just allow the kids I love to run through with childlike wonder! How it is the first place that He made me feel like a princess ... even if I didn't recognize the feeling all those years ago. I look out my windows and there is His creation ... and I am blessed. But this morning I had to say outloud that if He calls us to leave this house for another "thing" then I'm willing to go. I equally had to confess that my heart breaks when I consider what that means ... you see, I've been trying to learn to dream again ... and one of the 'dreams' that I have is to grown old in this place. There have been very, very few long time things in my life ... I've lived in the house we are in longer than I have ever lived anywhere in my life.I want AJ to bring his friends home from college here. I want Randy and I to sit on the porch and watch the sun rise and drink coffee.  I want to have grandchildren in this house and read to them ... I want my grandchildren to play with Jena's grandchildren ... I want grow old here.

You see, the little girl in me wants to know that where I close my eyes is going to be where I wake up. That permanent isn't just for everyone else but it's for me too. That I'm important enough to provide for and make feel secure. And yet the truth is ... none of those things is where I ought find my security. And just because I don't get the answer I want, doesn't mean Jesus doesn't care.

Snow days ... well, I'm thankful for the blessing of time to reflect. Time to consider. Time to pray. Time to love my very favorite people in the whole world.

Tangible gifts!