My boy ...

Nothing makes me wax poetic more quickly than talking about my boy. If you know me, you know that with every breath he takes, every time his heart beats and his eye twinkles I am more madly in love with him than ever before. I can not help myself. Aside from His own Son, AJ is the greatest gift I have ever been given.

It wasn't that we had so much trouble conceiving ... it all happened within a reasonable amount of time. There was loss before, but not like others have faced. There have been no other children to follow him(except the dozen or so kids who I am blessed to haul, care for, love on, feed on a weekly basis), but I am thoroughly convinced that he is God's perfect provision for my quiver.

Yesterday was a good day.

No, it was a great day.

I spent a precious time with Jesus yesterday morning. Thanking Him for providing in ways I didn't see possible even 12 hours earlier ... but really  more than that, He just loved on my heart. He showed me new things in His Word. He led me directly to Jeremiah- to words which promise redemption, rescue, restoration and recovery. It is beyond me to explain to you how a heart can be so flat out before the Lord and leap at the same time ... but mine did!

AJ has been the embodiment of those things to me. The Lord reached down and rescued me before I could sink too deep into fear when he knit that baby boy in my womb -keeping the secret from me for enough months for his place inside me to be securely defined. My heart was revived like a dying woman gasping for breath when I felt him kick for the first time. I really did not think myself capable of such love- a heart restored. There are some things that I just can't even convey to you that Jesus has done through his very presence in my life ...

the past 6 months has meant change for us. We have upended our lives, our friendships, our church ... and in some ways our family. And there have been mornings that I have wondered, Lord, what are we doing? Is this the path You've ordained for us? I see growth, fruit, blessings of people in our lives that we simply would not be the same without ... and even on the days that I drive to school with tears in my eyes- I am certain that we are in the right place.