If it's really ...

all about the journey ...



and it is really all about the journey,



then it shouldn't matter that the official Bible Study is over, but it makes me sad.



HOWEVER ...



God has been faithful during this 3 month process and can I just say as trite as it may sound-



I could have never done it without Him.



You see, if I were God- I'd have given up on me.



From a human standpoint, I'd done it all.



Therapy and medication.

Man-hating, authority bashing liberal therapy ... lots of what II Timothy 4:3 talks about when it says, "For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine Instead to suit their own desires they will surround themselves with a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear." I pretty much was hearing just what I wanted to hear and it fed a need. And it was a disaster of epic proportion.



Denial, suppression, depression.

Well, what do you say about that. I really just wanted to be like everyone else. Worked hard to make it so. And it did for a while.



Group.

Hmmm ... can I just say, not for me. Got hurt.



Journaling.

Definitely for me, it's always been a good thing, but I don't always know what to "do with it" as I finish. Blogging has been a cathartic process.



More secular therapy and medication.

Want a different result but try the same thing? Hmmm ... you probably thought I was smarter than that. Not true.



And finally about 18 months ago I cried out to Jesus and he started me on this journey.



Here's some of what I've learned:
-acts of obedience that I do not understand build faith.
-other people will not understand. I was dragging my feet because what God was asking me to do didn't make sense. Others will not miraculously understand exactly what you are doing.
-what other people think doesn't matter ... and it's probably part of what's holding you back.
-the healing process hurts. And allowing that hurt to come has been one of the hardest parts.
-living the hurtful things of our lives in 1st person takes courage.
-accountability and confession are not punishments, they are privileges.
-hurt is the perfect wallpaper paste for sticking lies up around the walls of our minds.
-His Truth is better than a tiger with a Downy chaser when you're trying to tear down the lie-clad wallpaper that assaults your heart.
-this is a journey and it's taken some time to get here, it's going to take some time to get home.