It was a Wednesday that started rocky ...

    and it started that way because I hadn't slept well. You know the kind ... the kind where you utter under your morning breath, "I can not wait to get back into this bed tonight!"

And then, d you haul your butt outta bed, because school calls and life as we knew it homeschooling ... well it is no longer.

I managed to get through class pretty well ... as a matter of fact- it was a good class that day because my heart was occupied and He taught through me, instead of my trying to be smart and cleaver all on my own! But while I was teaching, He was talking to my heart about this matter of obedience. Obedience I was failing to exhibit. In truth, I really wasn't just not obeying- I was arguing with God. I didn't understand what it was He wanted me to do- and more than that, I didn't understand why!

Let's back track a few days- in the service the Sunday before, Pastor Scott talked about the enemy trying to rob Believers of their testimony. Those words rang in my ear, they rang so loudly because they rang true. I've had that experience. The experience of being a Believer who had been robbed of her testimony. The enemy speaks softly in my ear, reminding me of the mistakes I've made, the places I've fallen short in the eyes of others and honestly, the more I listen- the louder he gets. I thought about how important journaling has become in my own life over the past year. How my friend has encouraged this book I believe God has called me to write- even though I didn't know the topic or the timing or the anything about it! I thought about the power of words ... and the power that print seems to have on people when they read them. The reality that they either build up or the tear down ... there's no bigger lie than "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

The Lord began to show me that it would be harder to refute the testimony if it were written in black and white ... if there were witnesses to what had happened. The enemy couldn't distort it as easily. He couldn't twist it and make it something that it wasn't ... and he couldn't make it less than it was either. I could help people do that. I could help people put their testimony on paper. It was clear during the message
that
was
what
He
wanted
me
to
do.
And then I started home ... and the doubts began. Why me? I'm not qualified. I'm not even a member of that church. We've only been going for a few weeks. Why in the world would Pastor Scott want to hear what I have to say? And why would he trust me to do something so important ... that is if he thinks it's important at all. The only thing he knows about me is that ... well, nothing really. Nothing at all. The best things he knows about me is that I'm friends with the Hambys and the Dales. This is crazy.

Monday morning the Lord woke me early ... tell Pastor Scott.
Lord, I'm going to look like an idiot. I don't know him. He doesn't know me.
Just tell him. Tell him what I told you.
You've got to be joking? Really Lord?
I'm not doing it. This is crazy. Ok- I'll see if I can find his email address.

I make a call, do a web search. All staff except Scott.

Monday goes on like any other day. Nothing spectacular. But throughout the day I hear that voice ... the one I'm never sure is me or Him or someone else.

tell Pastor Scott.
I tried Lord. I couldn't find his email. I asked Jena.

Tuesday morning the Lord wakes me again ... early ... tell Pastor Scott.
Lord, it's only 2am ... I have got to sleep.
Do I have your attention? Tell Pastor Scott.
Lord, I don't know what to tell him. I just don't.
Email him just what I told you.
What? I told you I couldn't find his email.
You have the church email. Email it to the church email.
Lord, I just don't want to.

Restless sleep follows because in my heart the words "Tell Pastor Scott" keep running through my mind as I tossed and turned through the night.

Wednesday comes. Tired and distracted ... finally, in between classes I shoot off a disjointed email- full of errors ... I hate errors in emails.
      From: arajbrown1993@aol.com [mailto:arajbrown1993@aol.com]



Sent: Wednesday, November 17, 2010 10:44 AM


To: NorthStar Church


Subject: Chasing the Lions
Dear Pastor Scott,
My husband Randy, son AJ and I have been attending Northstar since mid-September. It has been a blessing to hear what the Lord has placed on your heart.
I have to confess that my email today is out of obedience. I'm not really even sure why I'm telling you what I'm going to share ... but the Lord placed it on my heart on the way home Sunday and hasn't let it rest. I continue to hear the theme of the enemy robbing us of our testimony ... it's been a theme or undertone in several studies and messages I've heard. For some months, the Lord has been talking to me personally about the importance of our testimony. We all have a history- it doesn't become a testimony until we note the place where His grace and mercy intesects with our chaos. It just occurred to me ... well, I feel like it was from the Lord, that writing down our testimony could be a very powerful tool in combatting insecurity. Really chronicling those times when we've chased the lions and faced our fears and chaos.
Again- I don't know what I'm offering really. I love to write and if there was an opportunity to help compile a list or written testimonies I'd really enjoy being a part of something like that. This may be completely out of the realm of where you are going ... we're not members, you don't really know us. We are good friends with the Dale's and the Hamby's.
This disjointed note is uncharacteristic for me, but I appreciate your taking the time to read it.
Blessings,
Amy Brown

release ... I've been obedient ... and I am released.

PAUSE THIS STORY RIGHT THERE.

And move to UT hospital. My friend Jena's at the hospital with a friend from church who is having a mastectomy. She's waiting for Sue to be moved to a room after being in recovery.

The following texts were exchanged ... word for word.

Jena Texts
12:52 Ok well thought they would have sue in a room by now. Will you pray. I just heard a family receive very bad news right behind me I was reading scripture from homework but the wrong book. I feel I'm supposed to give this scripture to this family, I just don't want to do the wrong thing.
12:54 It's a hrt racing moment
Me:
12:56 How can scripture be wrong ... was just praying b4 ur explanation that you would know what ur supposed to do or say ... my prayer word for word

Jena:
12:57 Ok I did it they were thankful I'm trembling from  head to toe
12:57 You must have text as I was walking over

Me:
12:58 Lion chaser!!!

Jena:
12:59 My heart was breaking as the STOOD receiving the most horrible news in a room of people!! How they were able to stand! I told them it was the verse I was reading as I heard the dr telling them the news and I would be praying for them.

Jena:
1:01 Romans 15:13 I was supposed to be in I Cor 15
1:03 I wish I had a Northstar card right now

Me:
1:04 U R a walking Northstar card my friend
1:04 we want know what Romans 15:13 is

Jena:
1:05 lol I was just about to complain that they told them that information without taking them to a private room if he had I couldn't have written that verse down

Me:
1:06 Wow

Jena:
1:07 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit

Me:
1:15 Just prayed thanking Him for His timing

Jena:
1:15 He is Good
1:16 Awesome
1:21 Ok I just got the most awesome blessing!!!
1:23 A hug! A kiss! a thank you from a very precious husband. I have been so blessed today!

Me:
1:24 ummm ... Cam's there?

Jena
1:34 No, I have to tell you my God Story


At 2:17 ... while Jena sat telling Karen and I the rest of her God Story ... about an evangelist who was hearing this tragic news about his beloved ... the son who received Jena's words and conveyed them to his father ... about the ministry this man serves at a church in Israel ... about how her obedience brought them comfort in the midst of this difficult news ... and her blessing from obedience ...

this email arrived from Scott:

Amy,


Thanks so much for your note. This is very encouraging. I wou7ld love for you to gather and compile God stories from our people! I think this could be a great tool for the kingdom! Let’s talk more about this Sunday if possible. Please come by and remind me of this after the service if possible.
Blessings,
Scott

And so a new journey begins ... a journey of God Stories. Of obedience. Of incredible blessing that has already flowed in such great supply that I can scarcely lay my head down at night because I am so excited about what Jesus is doing all around me ... and blessed that He's letting me be just a small  part of His big picture.

Lord Jesus, May every story that I ever tell be honoring to You. May it serve to strengthen those who read them, remind those who live them and bless those who receive them. Thank you for loving me enough to see my heart's greatest desire - and in your grace and mercy bringing me along to this place of radical love and abandon for You and Your Kingdom. Thank you that you rescued me for Your delight. Amen