Deuteronomy 14:2

Deut. 14:2

for you are a people holy to the LORD your God. Out of all the peoples on the face of the earth, the LORD has chosen you to be his treasured possession.

Chosen ...

somehow that word settled more than just one issue in my heart this weekend.

You see ... it's no secret that in my family, for the most part they just don't know what to do with me. So to just simply acknowledge the fact that though they didn't choose me, but the Creator of the universe did ...

well, it's been a huge realization.

Because while He chose me- He also placed me. Inspite of what they think of me, I am just as much a part of our family as anyone else.

It wasn't an accident.
It wasn't a mistake.
It wasn't random.

So as the weekend approached, I just decided to approach the time with them differently. And He immediately began working in my heart and in my circumstance.

The plan was as follows:

My nephew Scott is graduating and this weekend was to be the celebration- and those celebrations always happen at my house. I am always in charge of food, times, entertainment and lodging for as many as I am able.

Mom and Joe were coming from Florida and staying in the same hotel they always stay in ... only to discover that their dog is no longer welcome in that facility. So they opted for a stay in a cabin in Laurel Valley. Nice set up ... 2 bedroom, 2 bath, front and back porches, living room, dining room and kitchen.

My aunt and uncle are coming from Indiana.

Oh, and my niece turns 21 on Monday.

Celebrating abounds.

Sitting at Sonic talking to Jena and it occurred to me (umm ... read that the Lord let me in on what was going to happen) and I said outloud ... "I bet my mom wants to move everything up to the cabin. That wouldn't be so bad, really." But really, I thought, yeah right, not a chance. And headed home to start cleaning.

Call from Indiana comes- my cousin Matt, his sweet wife Mel and their 3 under 5 kids are coming to stay with us for the weekend. Yay! Exciting news!

Then the next call comes in ... and sister treads lightly ... "what would you think if ... "

and I stop her. "You know, Mind, if mom wants to do things at the cabin, that's fine. No big deal. Let her do all of it. We'll come to you."

My sister ... "You're not mad? Are you sure? Really, well, okay. Then we'll just do it there."

confession #1 ... normally this would have driven me crazy! I'd planned, cleaned and shopped for much of this already. But because the Lord so graciously clued me in ... I was really okay with it.

Freedom.

Not just from cooking and cleaning and serving and a million dishes and money we didn't have ...
but freedom from trying so hard to 'serve' my way into their hearts.

Freedom from having to pretend that I've got it all under control.

Freedom from having to keep it all under control.

Freedom to help but not be incharge.
Freedom to not make any decisions.
Freedom to not feel responsible that everyone's favorite thing made it to the table.

Freedom to just be a part of the gathering.

confession #2 ... today I feel a little lost. Like I don't really know who I am in this family. I don't really know how I fit. And if they were honest, they don't know what to do with me either.

But today there is freedom to just be for a while as we all figure out how to function in this new reality.