Monday, May 11, 2009

This has been an exhausting weekend.
Physically ... I am exhaused. The Creeper Trail is 14 miles of mostly easy, downhill ride ... but even an easy 14 miles on a bike is 14 miles more than my bottom is used to doing! And therefore, the 3 miles that follows which is level and not really, really hard ... was challenging.I do not like to try something and not be able to finish. Because of this fact, Randy and I rode a tandem bike. I can not possibly spend the time today to tell you of all the lessons this ride included ... but let me share just one with you now ...My plan for the day was this- a tandem bike, Randy would make sure I got where I needed to go and he was my 'bailout' plan. I'd pedal if I could, slack off if I didn't want to do as much, put on my iPod and have a full day just in my own head. LOVED that plan.I quickly found myself in much deeper than I planned.Getting started was the hardest part of riding the bike together. You see, if you aren't in sync, someone is getting cracked in the shin with the pedal! The pedals move at exactly the same speed, stop simultaneously and if you don't act in unison ... someone gets hurt.Rarely would anyone use the word 'unison' when describing Randy and I.Spiritual lessons abound there. We may come back to those lessons another time ... but for now, here's where I want to settle ...When I was on the rear seat of this bike ... I couldn't see and I couldn't steer. I was completely out of control. And at first, it really bothered me. I would try to lean out to see around Randy. I would throw us out of balance. If I didn't do exactly what Randy told me to do when he told me to do it, my foot would get thrown off the pedal or I would throw Randy's off. This could have been disasterous. If I'd gotten mad and required Randy to lean down so I could see ... well, it just wouldn't have worked. If I'd insisted on steering but having him do all the work ... it just wasn't the way the thing was designed. We had to just make the thing work.So ...The iPod had to go. It was a distraction from his voice. I tried it in one ear, didn't work. I would hear his voice but only faintly. And I couldn't tell what he was saying. I Tried sneaking it on in the 'easy' spots but then I would be in my own world and completely miss him. The only bruise I have is from getting cracked in the shin by the pedal as he told me a big bump was coming and I didn't hear him. My foot slipped off ... the rest is history.I had to attend at all times, easy times and hard times to Randy's voice. I had to be alert to the sound of it, so I didn't get it confused with the other riders on the trail.There were a couple of times I 'got away with it' but finally, it caught up with me. I had an idea of how I wanted to spend my time on Saturday and at first, I was annoyed about not being able to do what I wanted. But my way was only getting in the way.What I found was that sitting behind Randy and listening to him talk that I was hearing more of what was going on in his heart. And while there are some serious implications for us as wives here ... I was mostly convicted of how rarely I've sat behind my Heavenly Father recently and just listened as He led me on this journey.How much more true is that concept when we're following our Heavenly Father. When we distracted by things that pull us away from His voice, really, nothing good can come out of it.I've used just these words ... "Lord, I don't "SEE" what's going on here." "Lord, "I" can't seem to change my course." "Lord, "where" are you taking me??"I had to trust Randy to watch for where I was going ... to alert me to any problem ahead ... to know the course and follow the signs ... to recognize when I was tiring and needed a break (only once did we have to stop, thank you very much!) ... and to push me ahead when I needed pushing (like when Randy said, just keep your feet on the pedals and I'll do the work).I need to learn to trust more. I need to learn to listen more intently. I need to follow with more grace.Just as a brief aside ... on this trip, I have no idea of most of the trail that was in front of me. I can't say that I would do one thing differently because I wasn't even permitted to be in the lead once. The offer was made and I declined. It left no room for me to question his judgement and no room for him to blame me for our status. There is much security in that place.