The ride ...
About a month ago, I went on a motorcycle ride with my husband. It was our anniversary ...
he loves to ride. I, well, not so much. I love that he enjoys it. And for that reason, it has become somewhat a traditon to ride on our anniversary. On this particular Sunday afternoon, the sun was warm, the breeze was cool ... and my man was ready. It had been since the fall that we'd ridden together. His face lit up when I offered. Clearly I was speaking his love language.
Because it had been a while since we'd been on a bike together, initially, I was a little uneasy. I found myself trying to see ahead, trying to sit upright in the curves, I didn't know exactly where my bottom fit into the seat of the bike ... or exactly where to place my hands to secure my place behind him. It had been too long and I was feeling out of sync with him.
At first, I was a little frustrated. It seemed he was going too fast for me.The ride was bumpy. This wasn't the experience I had wanted. But a few miles in I settled in behind him. I found a place where my knees could rest on his hips, keeping me steady. I began to move rhythmically as the bike leaned into the curves instead of fighting against them. My hands came to rest on his waist, allowing me to hang on when I felt myself waivering. Finally, it was as if we one ... not two individuals trying to gain position on the same path.
The Lord began to talk to me about my relationship with Randy ... how I often approach our life just like I was appoaching our Sunday afternoon ride. The Lord reminded me that I will find my rest if I will settle in and follow his lead. I realized there was much to be learned about how to love this man of mine as we ambled across Blount County. I have to learn to trust him in the curves ... if I don't, then it makes it harder for him to steer us. Could he make a mistake? Sure, but if he makes a mistake and I am trying to correct him from behind ... I'm no more secure than if I had simply taken hold of him with my whole being and leaned into the curve. If I don't hold tight to him on the bumpy sections, then it is far too easy for me to fly off and find myself separated from him. If I am behind him murmuring doubt into his ear, it is far less effective than if I am behind him and all he hears is the beating of my heart and the steadiness of my breath next to him.
None of those tasks are comfortable for me. They require that I place my body and soul in the hands of another ... and release control. I left that ride committed to doing a better job of loving him- and surrendering myself to him completely in ways I have not been brave enough to do in the past. In ways that speak clearly to his heart.
I realized in the same moment that as I listened to Jesus talk to me about my husband ... that I have just as much difficulty being vulnerable in the arms of my Heavenly Bridegroom ... and the same lessons applied. I have not yet mastered accepting the parallel of Jesus as Bridegroom. The Word says it so I will believe it ... I 'get' the symbolism involved. But surrender and leaning into the bumps and the curves of this walk ... they are areas in which I am pleading with the Father to help me settle into - right behind Him. Believing that He sees what is ahead ... and is vitally interested in my security.
Safe in His Arms ... it requires my surrender in both cases.
And I am ready.
he loves to ride. I, well, not so much. I love that he enjoys it. And for that reason, it has become somewhat a traditon to ride on our anniversary. On this particular Sunday afternoon, the sun was warm, the breeze was cool ... and my man was ready. It had been since the fall that we'd ridden together. His face lit up when I offered. Clearly I was speaking his love language.
Because it had been a while since we'd been on a bike together, initially, I was a little uneasy. I found myself trying to see ahead, trying to sit upright in the curves, I didn't know exactly where my bottom fit into the seat of the bike ... or exactly where to place my hands to secure my place behind him. It had been too long and I was feeling out of sync with him.
At first, I was a little frustrated. It seemed he was going too fast for me.The ride was bumpy. This wasn't the experience I had wanted. But a few miles in I settled in behind him. I found a place where my knees could rest on his hips, keeping me steady. I began to move rhythmically as the bike leaned into the curves instead of fighting against them. My hands came to rest on his waist, allowing me to hang on when I felt myself waivering. Finally, it was as if we one ... not two individuals trying to gain position on the same path.
The Lord began to talk to me about my relationship with Randy ... how I often approach our life just like I was appoaching our Sunday afternoon ride. The Lord reminded me that I will find my rest if I will settle in and follow his lead. I realized there was much to be learned about how to love this man of mine as we ambled across Blount County. I have to learn to trust him in the curves ... if I don't, then it makes it harder for him to steer us. Could he make a mistake? Sure, but if he makes a mistake and I am trying to correct him from behind ... I'm no more secure than if I had simply taken hold of him with my whole being and leaned into the curve. If I don't hold tight to him on the bumpy sections, then it is far too easy for me to fly off and find myself separated from him. If I am behind him murmuring doubt into his ear, it is far less effective than if I am behind him and all he hears is the beating of my heart and the steadiness of my breath next to him.
None of those tasks are comfortable for me. They require that I place my body and soul in the hands of another ... and release control. I left that ride committed to doing a better job of loving him- and surrendering myself to him completely in ways I have not been brave enough to do in the past. In ways that speak clearly to his heart.
I realized in the same moment that as I listened to Jesus talk to me about my husband ... that I have just as much difficulty being vulnerable in the arms of my Heavenly Bridegroom ... and the same lessons applied. I have not yet mastered accepting the parallel of Jesus as Bridegroom. The Word says it so I will believe it ... I 'get' the symbolism involved. But surrender and leaning into the bumps and the curves of this walk ... they are areas in which I am pleading with the Father to help me settle into - right behind Him. Believing that He sees what is ahead ... and is vitally interested in my security.
Safe in His Arms ... it requires my surrender in both cases.
And I am ready.
posted by Amy B @ 1:25 PM
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