It's become something of a joke ...

between a couple of my dearest friends and me ...



they see the dirt right before my eyes ... literally. I, on the other hand, am oblivious to it! It's funny because they live 500 miles apart ... have known me at different seasons of my life ... were both gifts from my Loving Heavenly Father who knew the need I had before I ever recognized it ... and both follow hard after Jesus ... and within moments of seeing me on most occassions will snatch the glasses right off my face, unable to stand the smudges and smears life has delivered to my lenses. You see, I am blind to the dirt right in front of my face.

I wish I were techno-savvy enough to deliver a picture of me at 18 months old with my bifocals tied to my head with a shoelace ... it's quite a picture. My vision was diagnosed at 200/20. I was watching Sesame Street with my legs pulled clear up under the TV stand ... my nose as close to the screen as it could be ... and my eyes were crossed so severely that you could hardly see the bright blue that has always been my best feature.



When I left the office the morning I received my 1st pair of pink glasses, my mom tells the story of my gasping and running wobble-legged toward the trees. I was in awe of the leaves ... life had been completely out of focus for me before that moment.



LEAFS!

In my world, leafs and trees were just one big blur ... even though I'd heard stories of 'leafs' and we'd looked at trees and my mama had said 'leaf' to me a hundred times ... I really had been without clarity and focus in what I was seeing.

The same is true when I look through my own dirty lenses today. I don't see the dirt. When I take my glasses off, my vision is too poor to notice the gunk that is obstructing my vision.

My husband said, "Why have you never gotten in the habit of cleaning them every morning and every night?"

I am embarrassed to say that the thought NEVER even occurred to me. You see, 42 years ago, all glasses were really glass-and fragile- and I was not allowed to rub ANYTHING over my lenses. They were expensive beyond belief ... and for my family- it was a huge investment every time I needed new ones. So I ignored the dirt! I just learned to live with it.

When my sweet friend chided me the other day about my glasses, I asked her, "Why don't you just tell me that it's there!?!" I admit, on that day, I was a little sensitive ... and it embarrassed me that she had to mention it again.

Her response was gentle, "Until I catch a glimpse in the light, I don't see it either."

The words landed right in the center of my heart.

As the past few weeks have unfolded and I have watched this precious season of confession unfold in the lives of some precious young people in my life, I realize how easily we come to the place where we ignore the dirt. We see it every day ... and yet we become immune to the effects of it. And sometimes, when the dirt stays in place long enough, we even become more comfortable with it than without it. Sometimes we even like it. Sometimes we hide it. Sometimes we flaunt it. Sometimes we wrap it in a pretty package. Sometimes we wrap it in an ugly package. Sometimes we try to throw it away. Sometimes we refuse to look at it. And sometimes we become fixated on it.

UNTIL THE LIGHT HITS IT

And my dirt is exposed. The dirt that was right in front of my face ... the dirt that I had been looking past. The dirt that I had successfully ignored.

Yesterday the same sweet sister that lovingly cleaned my glasses ... asked a question.

Will you ... or won't you??

It was just a curious question ... I think it was just conversation. In truth, I think she thought she knew the answer, but got a completely different one. But what it brought was confession. It was something I struggled with silently a year ago. Something that I have been tempted in lately. Something that would be insignificant to some. But in my life, could bring havoc to those around me. And I had been ignoring the pull of it in my heart because of a few hurts that have left me as wobbly-legged as I was as a toddler. I've been stumbling around in my heart ...

I was refusing to expose it to the light. Things were out of focus. Things were a blur.

But the Lord knew ... and used the obedience of one of His light-bearers to shine into my life. 

It took a friend to recognize the dirt first. I was just too blind to see it. I needed her to remind me to clean the lenses of my life.

And this morning I have spent some time doing just that.

The voice of Jesus is clearer today. And while the fragile feeling remains, I am at peace.

But reminded of the words of my husband, "why don't  you just get in the habit of cleaning your glasses every morning?"

I need to bring confession back as a CONSISTENT part of my prayer life. I need to be quick to spot the dirt because I am often exposing it to the light ...

My prayer for you today is the same prayer I have for myself ... that I would expose my own life to the Light of the Word. That if someone dear to me sees the dirt in my life, they will lovingly guide me toward the one who can clean it for me ... and that I would have the courage to do the same when I the Lord allows me to be so intimately involved in the lives around me. Afterall, if iron sharpens iron is true ... and love covers a multitude of sins in equal measure ... there is security in having others see the dirt in our lives. And we can be confident that it is His Glory they will see ... and not our depravity.

Thank you Lord Jesus for Your light-bearers. For the clarity and focus that becomes ours the minute we allow you to clean our lenses with your Living Water.