A New Song

Some of my most important moments seem to happen at Cracker Barrel. It is not one of my favorite places, but it is infinitely dependable. There will be small tables, there will be dim lighting, generally speaking it is warm ... and the coffee flows freely in the midst of conversation that begs to have more than a fleeting moment. I'll be honest, I haven't been a part of many conversations lately that have permitted lingering. My new teaching schedule has taken it's toll on just hanging out.
As yesterday approached, I asked the Lord to confirm in me three things ... That I am supposed to write something for Him ... That in this time of growth spiritually I can trust the new eyes I have been given ... the third thing is a little more difficult to structure in the form of a sentence, but it has to do with value and a place and a purpose. As we exchanged smiles and a cursory explination of my original question, a precious servant of the Lord began to speak over me things I had laid before the Lord. I didn't prompt answers with questions ... any frustration or concern came as confession laying every bit of responsibility at my own doorstep ... I exposed my need to please man instead of God ... and somehow in the course of my own confession, she spoke life into my soul.
This morning I didn't wake with a song reminding that I am not forgotten by God, that He has my best interest at heart or that He is with me ... when I laid my head down last night I was confident of those things. This morning ... at 4am ... and 5am ... and again at 6am ... I woke with this song in my heart ...Be thou exalted Jesus Forever ...

Loving Well

Yesterday in church Pastor Scott encouraged us to learn the love language of our spouse, children, friends ... spurring us toward the new commandment Jesus gives in John 13:34 ... love one another as I have loved you.

Loving well.

My heart is built in a way that pulls it toward the brokenhearted ... my eyes see deep into the person and reach out to what the eyes silently cry out and the mouth thrashes trying to find words to express. Often my spoken questions give an opening for people to begin to share what has their heart in knots. It isn't something I do with intent or that I set out with purpose toward on a trip to the grocery store, but it happens daily. At school ... the student with an ill parent, an ailing grandmother, parents who are struggling, grades that are failing ... at the grocery ... the acquaintance whose husband left her, the man Randy works with whose wife has cancer, the coach who got railroaded out, the woman who wants a drink but doesn't want to walk that road ... at church ... the family who has been  hurt by churches over and over and can't find a place, the secret struggle of the one who is depressed, a child with a medical struggle, the adult child who has wandered, the children that never came and the husband who has yet to show that love really is an action.

Every one of these I have encountered in the past month, just in passing. And by the way, do not even cover the struggles of those I am intimately doing life with and the struggles they face.

And so as I began to assimilate the information of yesterday with the reality of a dozen yesterdays I had to ask myself if I am Loving Well.

My conclusion was one I had not expected ...

Loving well requires time. And I was not giving of my time to many. One or two people have been where I have chosen to invest myself. And all these others ... they were like drive bys ... I triaged those involved, listened half-heartedly ... and came away exhausted from the entire exercise in futility. And then it occurred to me that we really do have a responsibility to one another. It isn't presumed. It isn't true under the best of circumstances. It isn't as it fits into my schedule. It is who has the Father put in my path.

Jesus doesn't triage us ... He listens intentionally to our every moment. He ministers to them ... individually. Today I will open my eyes and watch for the one that He places in the reach of my heart and will obey this new commandment. Loving them in a way that speaks life ... remembering that Jesus wasn't born that we might have a wonderful excuse to give each other meaningless gifts. But rather that He was born into this earth that we might share the ultimate gift of Love.

Day 2

That word rings in my ears at night ... in the morning ... while I do dishes, jump in the shower, plan lessons, run errands, cook meals ... It has permeated every moment of my days.

Now, there have been times when that would have been a bad thing. Obsession would have been the characteristic rather than just excitement.

I am finding that my journey toward forgiveness has driven me to:


more compassion
less pride
more passion
less apathy
more empathy
less sympathy
more praying
less advising

more God

less me

You see, as I try to develop in my mind what exactly constitutes forgiveness I've come up with a few thoughts.

We all have a history ... it might read something like a health history from a basic medical chart ... an alphabetized list of maladies ...

abandoned
abortion
abused
abducted
apathetic
apoplectic
anger issues
anxiety
antagonistic
adultery
bi-polar
bewildered
child of an alcoholic
divorced
devalued
depression
difficulty relating
eating disorder
fatigue
hallucinations
infatuation
Jesus complex
kleptomania

The list can go on and on and on ...

and any one of these things- small or large issues can constitute a need for forgiveness. Sometimes of someone … sometimes of yourself.

When forgiveness takes over a circumstance a miracle happens … when you history intersects with HIS-tory of Mercy and Grace ...

and becomes your testimony.

As intricate
and individual as my fingerprint ...

my testimony tells of where I've been
what He's delivered me from
and consequently what He's making me into for His Glory.

John 10:10 tells us that the enemy is out to rob, kill and destroy ... and it is his chief purpose in this world. As believers, Satan can not take us from God. We are children of the Most High - eternally secure. But if the enemy can convince us that what we've done, been, seen, had perpetrated upon us by others is so shameful that it would do more harm than good if anyone ever knew- well, then he traps us; renders us useless in our silence and shame.

But there is power in words. The power to bind the enemy. The power to release blessing on the lives around us. The power to lift up. The power to praise.

The power to bring honor where shame has taken up residency. Someone had to speak life into Mary to encourage her as she carried the Messiah. Her mother? Her father? Joseph? Elizabeth?

Who has He placed in your path today that needs reminding that the Messiah has come? Who will you speak life into?

Let the countdown begin

December 1, 2012


 
This matter of providence is an interesting topic. One in which we can find ourselves pondering over intently ... without direction on exactly what we hope to accomplish ... or we can just wander aimlessly through our days thinking our steps, decisions, condition, circumstances and past are all random acts having little or nothing to do one with the other.
But a few times in my life when I have found that providence is the only explanation for the something good that came out of something so hard, transforming Romans 8:28 in my reality. And can I just tell you- good is such a diluted word compared to what really came out of the hard that it shows itself as an amazing God story.

I'm fixated on this God story idea because, well, I believe there is power in telling the things that He's done. The world is FULL-RUNNING OVER-INFATUATED with what the enemy is doing. He gets play time in the media all the time. And honestly, in my own life, there are seasons where I think my attitude, my conversations, my walk give the enemy far too much play time as well.

So in this advent season, I want to look for the God story. Because here's the deal- there are some big things that you have to believe that only God could do to really fully buy into the whole Christmas experience. A Virgin Birth? A baby is born 100% God, 100% man? Jesus is the Word made flesh? I have no idea where you get hung up in this God thing ... those three were not biggies to me. I remember drinking red kool-aid and eating little iced oatmeal cookies in 'Gramma Beale's Sunday School Class' when I was three and my world was crumbling around me ... and it never entered my mind to doubt those 'details' of God. I do, on the other hand, know that my hang ups have come in the details of me. Of my life. Of my sin. Of believing that He will really work all things together for my good. Don’t you wonder if Mary questioned how this would work for her good? An unplanned, non-traditional pregnancy? Wanting desperately for her family and the ones who loved her to assume the best of her in a circumstance where the best was unbelievable. It required everyone involved to look beyond the circumstances and see God.

Such faith costs … Can you imagine the cost for Mary? Her family? Joseph and his family? Friends?

Today, where do you need to see God in a circumstance which seems unbelievable? Or worse, unredeemable?