Everybody Needs a Purvis

Smartphones sometimes think that they are smarter than the one operating them.

I recently jumped into the smartphone world that is home to the one with all the answers. Like when I asked Siri to text my friend and she replies, would you like to text "Jena" and it sounds like the pronunciation of that rather cloying fragrance from the 80's Jean Nate ... even after I try to 'teach her the pronunciation." Or when I try to text my husband and it texts a variety of Randy's whom I have never text ... ever "Date night tonight?? kissy face emoji and all" Or when I say, give me directions to the Plaid Apron and she says, "Did you really want directions to The Plaid Apron?" As if she thinks that I'm not cool (ahem, hip) enough to go there either ... well, it usually makes me roll my eyes and want to punch her ... the non-existent her that is Siri ... in the face as if she's a middle school adversary from many years ago.

And sometimes, just sometimes, Siri gets it right. When I first got my phone, I continually typed the word "precious" next to the word friend and what she gave me was "purvis" ... and so I decided Purvis it would be!! After all, we all have dear friends. And most of us, well we have a bunch of them. When we are 30 we calculate our worth by the number of invitations to Bunco and Panera and this fundraiser or that book club.  By the time we are 40 ... we're tired of playing games(not bunco games, mean girl games) and the ones who are still competing and trying to outdo us or even if it's others they continually target ... well, we just get over it.

As I slide in hard toward 50 though, what I really need in my life is a purvis. A precious friend who embodies what it means to "loveth at all times." Because about now, 'all times' is taking on new meaning. Empty nest, changing body, health issues, mid-life crises, aging parents ... they are taking a toll that requires friendship that goes beyond. And my 'purvis' does just that. She laughs with me and it it gives me the courage to Persevere. She cries with me and it reminds me that this very real season requires Understanding. She sits with me and I am reminded to Rest. She prays with me and over me and I am reminded that Jesus is the Victor. She nudges me and I am reminded to Incline my ear to the Father. She holds me tight and I am reminded that I am Significant.

Worship 2016

This is how we finished out our Christmas Eve service at Northstar Church in Knoxville, Tn. It was so the Lord. A month ago, I began to really wonder if I'd really listened to the Lord as I sought Him for my 2015 Word of the Year ... Communion. Because from July to December ... I hardly gave  it a thought. I spoke the words "I've really not done communion justice in the second half of the year." To which my dear friend replied, "I'm not sure it was yours to do justice to in the first place." And at that realization ... that my Word of the Year is about Him doing a work in me, not my working out the Word He's given ... He showed me how Communion had woven it's way through out moments and minutes and days and months through this year.

com·mun·ion

kəˈmyo͞onyən/

noun

1. 1. 

   the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially when the exchange is on a mental or spiritual level.

   "in this churchyard communion with the dead was almost palpable"
2. 2. 

   the service of Christian worship at which bread and wine are consecrated and shared.

   synonyms:

   the Eucharist, Holy Communion, the Lord's Supper, Mass "the breaking of the bread during Communion"

1. • 
     

In January, I took a very literal approach to Communion.  I found a cute carafe with a cork, some neat little cups in a wooden box ... filled it with wine and set it out on a table my son gave me for Christmas next to a candle called Northern Lights ... and every night I was intentional about taking communion. By mid-February I realized that it had become routine and so I abandoned the everyday communion idea. February and March were full of intensely difficult and intimate conversations that left my heart reeling and begging for relief. Communion had happened as the Lord filled my mouth and enabled me to speak the very words that laid my most precious human relationship squarely on the alter and forced me to take my hands off of it. But, all of a sudden, Communion felt risky and dangerous. But isn't that the Truth of Holy Communion ...  it represents the most risky and dangerous prospect of all ... The God of the Universe allowed His own Son to come to earth and become fully man and die on the Cross for the gift of Salvation  that many, many reject ... and He knew they would. Yet He took His hands off and permitted it to happen? It was risky because when you  have communion with  someone you love ... even the most brief of separations  is difficult. But when you know that they are enduring hell ... the tearing apart of your heart is almost  too much to bear.  We know that experientially, don't we? On Christmas Eve, there were still places that were guarded from full communion in a couple of areas of my life. As we sang that night ... my heart was so inclined toward Mary and her not so Silent Night. I wondered if as she felt Jesus' birth nearing if she wanted to guard her own heart, somehow knowing what was to come ... and yet because the mother/son bond is so incredibly intense ... was helplessly in love the moment He breathed in humanity and let out a cry for the whole world? Communion at it's most raw, naked, exposed moment. When your heart is unable to resist what it yearns for and fears most become one. It was during our corporate Communion that the Lord washed over me a peace ... a Joy, Unspeakable Joy ... realizing that every new thing requires an exchange. If I was going to grasp my new life, I was going to have to lay my own dreams and expectations aside. And so as I waited in the front row for everyone to file ... I confessed that I really wanted life to turn out differently than it is right now. I wanted to go back ... to simpler, busier, fuller days. Days where I understood my role and my purpose. The past two years have been full of wrestling against what the Lord has permitted. I swung precariously on a pendulum of resisting communion that I longed for ... the intimate exchange of thoughts and feelings with ones I love ... and grappling at it desperately like I was wrestling a greased pig! I was exhausted. My knees were worn, and my heart was weary. I could stand before the Lord knowing I had done what He called me to do ... but it had taken a toll. And I realized as I sat in a moment of reflection that I was just a little bitter that I'd done my part and I didn't see where God had done His. And so ... once again, I laid down my dreams, expectations, hopes and the fear that what He had planned wouldn't be as good. Whew ... I guess that's why we had to sit in the front row ... I had a lot to talk to the Lord about before my heart was ready to come to the Table. I left ... resolved and at peace. Still not knowing many things. Christmas Eve with the most precious of friends ... laughter, good food ... joy ... communion ... wrapped up our evening. And as morning came ... the Lord began to unfold a gift ... confirmation that the past two years of praying and weeping were not in vain ... He kept His promise to restore what the locust had eaten over the past two years ... those things only hours before that He had called me to place on the alter ... A gift from my son that would lead my heart straight into my new word of 2016 ... worship. So my question to myself was ... what do I need to lay on the alter to embrace Communion? What do you need to lay on the alter so you can come boldly before His Throne? Where are you growing weary? Do you see someone around you who is growing weary ... and how can you encourage them today? Will you allow Him to do His "today work" in your heart so that you can fully embrace what's coming next?

mission trip devotions Extravagant faith

Extravagant Faith

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Scripture Reading Matthew 14:26-33

Reread: Matthew 14:22-33 and Mark 9:14-29

About two weeks ago, a dear friend text me to say she was headed to Kansas City for a week. Her sister-in-law needs help. She has a brain tumor ... and she’s dying. And while that’s hard enough, Jill doesn’t know Jesus. The conversation we had later that day went something like this ... 

“I want to take every opportunity to pour in Jesus. I LOVE her. And she doesn’t know him. Would you just pray that the Lord would give me just the right words to speak and that the Holy Spirit would soften her heart?” Janie asked. 

“And would you just pray that I’m doing the right thing? My fellas and girls are here. College is coming soon. I treasure this time with them, but I think this is the right thing to do.” 

I promised her I would pray. I asked another prayer warrior friend to pray. I prayed faithfully ... but somewhere between praying and believing my faith ... failed. 

In Matthew 14:26, Jesus calls to his disciples as he makes his way to the boat by walking on the water. They found themselves in unfamiliar territory and they were afraid until they heard the voice of the Master. When they recognized Jesus, Peter said, “If it is you Jesus, command me to come to you on the water.” And Jesus said, “Come.” 

It’s hard for me to picture a mission trip, where the enemy has such a stronghold on the lives of those we hope to serve, that faith wouldn’t fail for some of us at one time or another. Because we probably find ourselves in a similar place as the disciples. We feel confident that the Lord has called us to the reservation and right now ... we are excited!! We may have even said something like Peter does ... ok Lord, if it’s you, just tell me to go and I’ll go! And, Jesus didn’t call Peter out on the water SO THAT HE WOULD FAIL, nor did he call us to South Dakota for anything less than to accomplish His Will. 

And so, according to the scriptures, Peter went ... because Peter knew Jesus’ voice and had faith he had heard his command. I’m struck this morning by this ...   Jesus had only asked Peter to do ... what Peter ... had requested ... Jesus to ask ... Peter to do ... 

Have mercy!! 

Peter had faith Jesus had called him ... Peter WANTED JESUS TO CALL HIM 

 ... until he saw the wind ... 

It’s in the “until of a moment” that whatever you have been feeding begins to flourish. 

Can you see this? Peter steps out onto the calm waters ... feeling pretty good about the whole thing ... maybe he takes a deep breath and his chest expands just a little bit ... he squares his shoulders toward the goal ... knowing the other 11 are looking at him ... from the boat.

The word says this ... “so Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water to Jesus.” FAITH

You know that confident ... swagger.  

“But when he (Peter) saw the wind ...” 

He saw the wind. I’ve been on the beach when it was windy and I could feel the wind on my face, but the word says saw ... Psalm 107:25 says “for He commanded and raised the stormy wind, which lifted up the waves of the sea” ... 

... waves ...

Is as vivid in your mind as it is in mine? The evidence of the wind is the waves licking at Peter’s ankles, then his knees. His feet are still firmly on the surface of the water ... but the assault of the waves becomes his circumstance ...

When have you found yourself in a circumstance where the evidence around your suggested danger or failure, but you had been called out by the Lord ... and in your excitement, you jumped out of the boat and went ... but then ... you began to consider ... all the possible outcomes?

Here Peter finds himself at the “until of the moment.”

Pause right there for a minute ... don’t miss this because it’s so important. 

Peter saw the wind ... he could feel the evidence of the danger just below the surface ... 

Peter’s faith failed and he miscalculated the winds as the danger. 

Could it be that the most common cause of failure is our miscalculation of where real danger exists. Setting up the greatest difference between the Lakota and us. You see ... we look at what we want (success, fame, fortune, sex, acceptance, love, freedom) and we fail to see the danger in it. The world tells us if we go to church, life will be “peachy” and we begin to believe the lie. We think we are so far removed from homelessness, addiction, abuse and failure that we cozy up beside the very sins that lead down that path and expect to remain safely under the protective umbrella of Grace without consequence. We think that under Grace, we are free from the natural order of this world ... and nothing bad is ever going to happen to us. We aren’t going to become pregnant or get a disease or go broke or be thrown in jail or lose our family because we love Jesus and He won’t let that happen. We live like we believe that the natural order of things will be interrupted when we act according to our own will because we love Jesus when it comes to our sin. But when it comes to His Will, we question why He would ask us to do something we KNOW we can’t do. 

We trust Him to forgive the sins we want to commit, but we fail to trust Him in the obedience He asks us to offer.  

The Lakota live lives that are diametrically opposed to that ... we introduce them to Grace that completely contradicts all that they know to be true in this world. They know they are going to live a life of alcoholism, abuse, homelessness and failure. That is their natural order of things. They don’t see that for the few that have professed a trust in Christ that their life is a whole lot better. They see that the natural order of things happens. Alcoholism leads to fatherlessness. Drug abuse leads to addiction. Sex leads to a baby you weren’t ready to raise. 

And just as you and I don’t see that we could ever fall prey to those things ... they see no way out of those things by falling and praying. 

We believe we are immune to the consequences of sin because we hold a cheap view of His Grace, death on the Cross and Resurrection. 

They miss out on Grace because they have an overrated trust in things of this world. And both miscalculations leave us wondering if God is who He says He is. 

We don’t recognize the dangers because we believe we are immune to their consequences and the Lakota can’t see Hope in their circumstances. Believing that the supernatural work of the cross is more powerful than what they know in life is just as difficult for them to believe as it is for us to believe that one day we could be in their shoes. 

We don’t see the ploy of the enemy in sin:They don’t recognize the Hope in Christ. 

They are equally devastating lies that the enemy tells us about the gospel. 

So on the eve of serving people who desperately need to know the supernatural power of the Cross and the Resurrection of Jesus, would you spend some time preparing your heart for this sacred work. 

Will you stop and take a look at what you will inevitably tell them is the high price, the treasured gift that Jesus gave to them on the Cross ... now will you reflect on what your life and your decisions reflect about the cost of the Cross? 

Is there unresolved sin in your own life that you need to bring before the Father? 

What are you believing God for this week that is EXTRAVAGANT? 

and on June 17 @ 9:30 in the morning, I even stopped what I was doing because the Lord impressed on me the need to pray. Lord ... soften her heart to your Holy Spirit. Lord ... give Janie words to speak. Lord ... we know you are able. Lord ... please be with Janie. 

And then, later that afternoon, came the text ... 

Honestly ... I read that text as I parked my car in the driveway ... and my hands shook! Tears filled my eyes. I text Janie ... 

It would be a few days before I actually got to hear the story. And as I once again conveyed my response to her text ... I had a confession to make. 

“Janie, I realized the moment that your text arrived that I prayed just like you asked. I believed that God could do all the things I was praying. I thought I believed He would ... but I didn’t ever expect that the text was coming.

Can you hear Peter talking to himself, forgetting that Jesus knows his thoughts? What was I thinking? What am I doing? Oh no ... the other guys are watching! Do you see him glance sideways ... how quickly does the swagger turn into wondering where can I hide? 

I know that the scripture doesn’t say that ... so how is it that I feel so certain that something LIKE THIS happened? 

Stick with me here ... 

And, “Peter was afraid.”

According to the scripture Peter was afraid ... before he began to sink. Peter’s faith failed him RIGHT HERE ... 

you see, there is always a moment when any action can become sin. And somewhere between recognizing the possible danger and sinking ... sin happened.  

Peter stepped out obediently, he walked confidently ... and then came the wind. Still no consequence. THE WIND ISN’T WHAT THREATENED TO TAKE PETER UNDER. Noticing the wind wasn’t where Peter’s faith failed. But when Peter began to weigh out in his heart all the things that might happen as a result of the wind ... he was afraid. 

And then came the consequence. 

“ ...he was afraid and beginning to sink ...” Let that word “beginning” wrap itself around your heart ... linger there, just ... for ... a ... moment. It doesn’t say that Peter went under ... he isn’t drowning ... the waves haven’t swept him away ... he doesn’t flail ... he isn’t calling out to his buddies for a lifejacket ... he isn’t even trying to swim back to the boat ... and, we don’t hear a voice choking on seawater gasping out ... 

Peter’s faith didn’t fail him long. Because He KNEW that Jesus was able and wiling to rescue him. 

Peter KNEW. How often is what we know contradicted by what we feel? We feel like the odds are against us ... we feel like what we’ve been asked to do is impossible ... we feel like there is no way ... we feel like there is no hope ... we feel like ... 

and and then we think, “Is God who He says He is? Did mean what He said?” And secretly, in places we don’t let many see ... we whisper in our heart, “Do I believe any of it anyway?”  And we too ... begin to sink. 

Beginning to sink ... Peter cried out “Lord, save me!” 

Oh that we would be like Peter!!! Because guess what??? 

We are going to become afraid. 

Our thoughts are going to wander toward the “what ifs” of life. 

And our faith is going to fail us. 

Peter didn’t wallow in his sin, he didn’t try to rescue himself, he didn’t throw up his hands and say, “I knew this was going to happen. I knew I couldn’t walk on water!” 

He cried out to the Lord and IMMEDIATELY Jesus reached out His hand to Peter ... rescued him ... 

took hold of Peter saying, “Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt? 

Hear the tender voice of the Father precious ones. Read that again and again until you hear the Daddy voice of Jesus. 

Jesus didn’t shame Peter, he pointed to his sin. Jesus doesn’t look at Peter and say the things we are prone to say ... he didn’t tell Peter to save himself ... he didn’t mock Peter to the other disciples ... He simply pulled Peter out of the shackles of sin that were pulling Peter under the obstacle separating him from Jesus that MOMENTS earlier Peter had supernaturally been given authority to overcome. 

The world looks at this story and they think that Peter’s failure is in beginning to sink. But Jesus looks at Peter’s heart and calls out his sin ... doubt. And carries him back into the fellowship of those with whom he is doing life.

And what is the response to rebuke? They worship. 

So today, is there an area where you need to cry out to Jesus? 

Are you flailing around trying to save yourself? Making excuses for why you are drowning? 

Has He rebuked you in an area of your life that requires response? 

mission devotions

The sermon today isn't available yet. I know because I just looked ... I was pretty sure that it wouldn't be, but I was so moved by what Scott taught today that I had to spend some time reflecting over it with you!

He began the heart of the message by asking the question ... "Why Am I Here?" and took us back to the beginning ... like as in Genesis 1. Now, lots of people have read Genesis 1. I have renewed my interest in this text as I have started teaching science again this year. I am absolutely fascinated by the Creation Story! I have become thoroughly convinced that belief in a literal 7 day creation story is foundational to our Christian walk. In Genesis 3 ... the serpent begins to chip away at the foundation of the woman's faith in God's sovereignty by asking the question "Did God really say that?"

Eve had no reason to doubt Adam's word ... but because the negative seed was planted by Satan, that doubt grew into questioning ... and questioning into rebellion.

WOW ... The real downfall began when the serpent began to infiltrate Eve's mind with DOUBT ... subtle doubt at first ... not doubting God, but 1st doubting her helpmeet ... Adam.

Had Adam failed her in some way that deserved her doubt? They were in the land of pleasure and delight ... the Garden of Eden.

Had he forgotten to take out the garbage, not been sweet enough when the snuggled up last night, spent more time tending the animals than making her feel special?

Yet doubt entered. And sin was quickly on its heels ...

chipping away at the foundation ...

TRUST

Let's look back at the dialogue between Eve and the serpent. In Gen 3:1b the serpent says, "Did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden?"

Now, I wasn't there ... it's taking some liberty to give voice to this snake ... but can you not hear his voice dripping with disgust?

Really, really did God say you can't eat from any tree? Overstating the case, knowing the seed of truth that existed - there was only one forbidden tree - He knew that it would take the hard sell to make his case.  He had to make it sound like they were being deprived because they couldn't have it all! So he planted the seed that they couldn't have any!

Eve responds correctly, The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say "You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it or you will die."

Hold on ... ok ... I'm taking liberty again, but after all, I am a daughter of Eve ... I know what wells up in my mind as I read those words ...

I start out strong ... We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden ... and then the words of the serpent, the condesending tone in his voice (the you gotta be kidding-tone), the question that he placed before me (Are you really that stupid?) ... slams headlong into the truth ... and doubt creeps in. My faith waivers ... and the unthinkable word comes out ... BUT ... and I turn my eyes away from Jesus and toward the serpent and lean into what he is saying ...

Can't you just see her ... me ... casting her eyes downward, shuffling her feet like a 10 year old, "yeah, but He did say we couldn't eat from the tree in the middle (the most beautiful one) and if we touch it we'll die (what's so special about the one in the middle that we would surely die?? and if it's that special, why wouldn't He want me to have any?)"

Shame creeps over me even at this very moment knowing how often I have treated God's boundaries with this sort of wishy-washy selfishness! Oh, I have my own high-horse issues ... what we commonly refer to as 'the big sins' ... you know, the ones that we can talk about in lofty terms because the rubber of our tires of life never really meet that road today (even though in truth they did, at another time in life, when today's friends didn't know me. Sound at all familiar?) ... you make your list, I have mine!

My life is littered with times where I questioned whether what God said is what He meant. L.I.T.T.E.R.E.D.

For many years I believed that God's Word was filled with stuff I couldn't do ... not stuff I shouldn't do, stuff that would bring death to the spirit in me, stuff that harms me ...  Just me being petulant and childish and looking at what I couldn't do ... pushing out my lower lip and stamping my foot.

Who am I that I should think myself worthy of questioning the HOLY GOD/CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE??

And yet I find myself right back where I started ... with a question ... not the question Scott asked that I thought I was going to start with ... Why Am I Here? exactly ... but a question ... Who Am I?  What Do I Think I'm Doing ... and it's almost like at this season of my life I have to ask that question before I can even get to the "What am I doing here?" question!!!

Because here's the deal ... Before I can look at Why I'm here and how I relate to God, Myself, Others and His Creation ... I have to reposition myself to see that in that equation, it is God that is on the very top rung of that ladder. It really doesn't matter why I think I'm here, if I don't first realize that I am here primarily to bring Glory and Honor to the most high God.

Oh, it matters why God placed me here ... and I am here to relate.  Just like the sermon today said I'm purposed to relate to God, to myself, to others and to His Creation ... God's plan matters.

And He's calling me to remember that it matters more than my plans. Jer. 29:11 says, ‘ “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “'

In the New International Amy Version it often reads, "Do you know the plans I have for myself Lord? Are you listening? Hey God, pay attention here ... Now, make me rich and don't let anything bad happen to me while I walk around out here in this big world, okay, yeah you created the world, I know, but Lord have you seen all the cool things around today ... if I could only have _______ then my future would be great!”

It's funny, this morning I found myself kneeling at an alter thanking God for changes in my home, for the blessing of a son, provision for my family ... asking Him to ????draw a friend, ????comfort a boy, heal a baby, a woman, a marriage, protect a soldier and give direction in a new venture - pleading with Him to keep me out of the way because I am persuaded that this idea of protecting our testimony is so life changing!

And He answers.  Again.

So I'll move into this week not wondering, "God, is that what you really said for me to do?" But I will go in whole-heartedly, knowing that Your Word stands on its own, Your call is irrevocable and my obedience is required.

Lord Jesus, keep my eyes fixed on you even as the enemy tries to whisper in my ear that surely I misunderstood ... misunderstood what You have for me to do, who I am in You, my value to those who love me and the circumstances of my day!

Extravagant Love

I got a text this morning that says, “Jake asked me to pray last night that he would love Jesus in his heart more than he does Legos.” 

The chuckle in my tightened as tears formed in my eyes. And the words of Jesus in John 21 echoed, 

15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. 18 Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” 19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

And Jakes words collided with these verses. Jake would eat, sleep and drink Legos. He knows them, understands them, desires them, saves for them, asks for them. When he is with his Legos ... is attention is fully devoted to them. For some people it’s sports, for others movies, for some intellect ... we all have our own “LEGO” that we love. But this morning, the words in verse 18 struck me ... and I thought, “I bet Jake has a Lego shirt! And maybe a hat??” And the mama in argued, he’s a kid ... let him be a kid. The verse I think that what Jesus is saying is ... you can make what seem to be your own decisions now, as a young person, but because of the decisions you make today, later on, someone will decide for you ... and you ain’t gonna like it. And then Jesus commands Peter, “Follow me.” 

In Jake’s little-boy-who-loves-Jesus heart, his prayer request spoke such depth. Let me love Jesus in my heart more than most treasured possession. 

So I would ask us today ... Who or what is your Lego? 

Will you trade it in for a greater love of Jesus? 

He Knows

I'm trusting God for something.

I'm trusting Him for something that when I wrap words around it ... my heart, without fail, screams at my mind that it "can't possibly understand." I know you recognize the gut-lurch reaction that occurs when you've tried to share something with someone who just doesn't lay hold of the gravity of the situation.

There's only one thing of true importance that I've ever prayed for longer ... it's been well over a year now that I've watched the enemy continue to win battle after battle. I've watched Satan twist truth into daggers, dress up sin like a Christmas gift, weep like the victim, sneer like the victor and wave the banner as if to rule a kingdom.

I've responded poorly. Fear, hurt, anger and unbelief have rendered me seemingly useless in this season. Some days I have stay in bed ... other days I was up moving and there was the appearance of life, but I could not recount to you one of the activities that consumed the 18 waking hours of the day. I could go on about the difficulties but honestly, I've dwelled there long enough that I've made myself sick of the refrain.

In difficult times I've asked the Lord to give me a song for the day. I did that because Zephaniah 3 tells me that the Lord is mighty to save and He rejoices over me with singing. He has been so faithful to give me that gift. Sometimes it's a new song (Hello My Name Is lasted a while) ... sometimes it's an old standard (It is Well) ... sometimes it's something from the recesses of my mind (I am a promise, I am a possibility) ... other times it's a lyric I don't even recognize and I have to Google it (I'm Alive) ... for the past few days it's the new song by Jeremy He Knows wakes me ... and because my silent,drifting tears ... the ones that glue my face in a snotty mess to my pillow ... carry me pleading with Him to redeem the situation. I need to know HE Knows. But the past few days by the time I hit the shower, the song by Kristian Stanfill Always filled my thoughts. I confess that as I listened to the lyrics in my mind ... I lingered on the edge, waiting for Him to help me understand ... understand how, over a year later, My God is going to come through ... how, over a year later, this lingering could be categorized as anything but delay ... how, over a year later, I am supposed to continue to hope that My Help is on the way ...

but this morning this lyric resonated over and over ...

"oh my God, He will not delay, My Refuge and Strength always, I will not fear, His Promise is true ..."

Delay ... isn't over a year a delay? I live in a microwave, text message, instant message world where I expect things to happen now. And while I'm patient about many things ... patience here is wringing my heart out every.single.day. I want resolution. My heart needs a victory. My soul needs a glimpse.

But has My God delayed??

No ... He has not.

Several months ago, I picked my sister up at the airport. She was scheduled to arrive at 10:45am. When I arrived at the airport, I checked the monitor to see if her flight was on schedule. Next to her flight number were the words ... ON TIME. But friends, if I'd shown up to the airport on Friday, because I was anxious to see her ... despite the fact that there were planes arriving, people pouring through the gates ... she would not have arrived until Sunday. Frustration, wishing, praying, begging every person I know to pray, crying ... would not have changed the fact that she wasn't coming until the appointed time. If I'd stood in the corridor demanding to see her ... would that have characterized her absences as "delayed"? No ... she arrived just when she was supposed to arrive.

This is exactly how I'm responding in this situation. It's gone into ugly ... and my response speaks far more about me than it does My God.

This morning as I listenedd to the song ... I was reminded that just because He hasn't fully answered my prayer yet, does not mean that He has delayed. It simply means it is not yet time. It doesn't mean he isn't answering my prayer, even now. He's working in the midst of this difficult process and when the time is right ... because His Promise Is True ... His Love Will Shine Through.

ALWAYS

I wish I could say that it's easy to wait, but it isn't. He's refining me in this waiting process and strengthening my faith ... some days I want to give into the popular and forgo the righteous because it circumvents waiting ... but it also moves me into disobedience and that is a dangerous place for a Believer in Jesus Christ.

What are you asking God for in this season that seems impossible?
What verses will you pray over this circumstance as you wait?

The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zeph 3:17