Worship 2016

I want you to close your eyes for just a minute ... okay wait ... that won't work since I want you to read ... but you get the picture. This was the lead in for our first Word of the Year small group on Saturday morning ... 

so maybe for us it reads, in your mind's eye ...  

think about how life has changed in the last  10 years ... The last 5 year ... The last year ... That last month ...  The last week .... Maybe even the last 24 hours

That's a picture of how much life could change in the coming day ... The coming week ... The coming year 

and now, shift your focus ... 

The Lord was not caught off guard by the delay of our gathering (by the blizzard that wasn't in the valley) ... I know of circumstances in several of our lives that  bear witness to that. But He alone knew last week that we would need to be sitting together at His feet this morning. 

““Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.””

Jeremiah 1:5 ESV

He alone knew. 

He was not caught off guard by the change in circumstance since he gave you your Word. 

He is the same yesterday, today and Forever ... Hebrews 13:8 

Only the Lord is able to tell us things that we can not know. 

Jeremiah 33:3 

“Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.”

Jeremiah 33:3 ESV

Heres the hitch in that for me ... I really wanted Him to tell me WHAT WAS COMING ... but it's my testimony that this is how he takes my weakness and prepares me for how He's going to chisel me to look more like Him. 

My word this year is worship ... And I had a picture in my mind of what that looked like ... 

But my perception is shifting quickly. Because while worship is my word ... 

Idolatry is my sin. 

“What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man. I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away.”

Ecclesiastes 3:9-15 ESV

I have spent a tremendous amount of time in the past two years mourning what used to be, what hasn't happened, what appears will never happen, what has happened in the past ... I've lived fearful of what's to come and maybe more to the point what I'm afraid won't come to pass ... 

EVEN AFTER WATCHING WITH MY VERY OWN EYES THE SCALES LITERALLY WIPED AWAY FROM AJ'S EYES ... 

something I prayed for two solid years over ... Fasted over ... Wept over ... More times than not day and night ...

Because I still trust more in my plans than in His. But no where in the scripture does it say be joyful when everything is going according to my plan. It says ... 

In every thing be joyful ... Eat, drink, Take pleasure in your toil ... That is His gift to us!!! 

And the New testament confirms that in James 

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”

James 1:2-6 ESV

Our days were written before the beginning of time ... He is the only one who is able to equip us for what is to come ... No matter what ... 

So as I learn to be a true worshipper of the one who holds all my tomorrows ... 

as I step into the fullness of embracing this 2016 Journey that the Father has for me ... 

as I trust Him with what I can not yet see ...

and believe Him for that which deposits tear after tear in HIs bowl that holds the tears of the saints ... 

what are you trusting Him for today? Could my group and I pray with you on a matter? 

Everybody Needs a Purvis

Smartphones sometimes think that they are smarter than the one operating them.

I recently jumped into the smartphone world that is home to the one with all the answers. Like when I asked Siri to text my friend and she replies, would you like to text "Jena" and it sounds like the pronunciation of that rather cloying fragrance from the 80's Jean Nate ... even after I try to 'teach her the pronunciation." Or when I try to text my husband and it texts a variety of Randy's whom I have never text ... ever "Date night tonight?? kissy face emoji and all" Or when I say, give me directions to the Plaid Apron and she says, "Did you really want directions to The Plaid Apron?" As if she thinks that I'm not cool (ahem, hip) enough to go there either ... well, it usually makes me roll my eyes and want to punch her ... the non-existent her that is Siri ... in the face as if she's a middle school adversary from many years ago.

And sometimes, just sometimes, Siri gets it right. When I first got my phone, I continually typed the word "precious" next to the word friend and what she gave me was "purvis" ... and so I decided Purvis it would be!! After all, we all have dear friends. And most of us, well we have a bunch of them. When we are 30 we calculate our worth by the number of invitations to Bunco and Panera and this fundraiser or that book club.  By the time we are 40 ... we're tired of playing games(not bunco games, mean girl games) and the ones who are still competing and trying to outdo us or even if it's others they continually target ... well, we just get over it.

As I slide in hard toward 50 though, what I really need in my life is a purvis. A precious friend who embodies what it means to "loveth at all times." Because about now, 'all times' is taking on new meaning. Empty nest, changing body, health issues, mid-life crises, aging parents ... they are taking a toll that requires friendship that goes beyond. And my 'purvis' does just that. She laughs with me and it it gives me the courage to Persevere. She cries with me and it reminds me that this very real season requires Understanding. She sits with me and I am reminded to Rest. She prays with me and over me and I am reminded that Jesus is the Victor. She nudges me and I am reminded to Incline my ear to the Father. She holds me tight and I am reminded that I am Significant.

Life is not Bulletproof

About 10 days ago, I took a pretty hard fall. I’ll spare you the details, but a hip issue that had almost resolved itself was aggravated and my right knee, which took the brunt of the fall, has been swollen and tender since then.  Last night, I made my way to my favorite corner of my couch to finish up Jeremiah 16-20 and not fully thinking, I leaned into my right knee to make my way to the chosen spot. The pain that shot through my knee brought me closer to tears than the original fall.

Upon waking this morning, the returned pain in my knee reminded me of my miscalculation last night. I quickly showered, dressed, gathered a load of laundry and set the day in motion. A brief text spoke the intent of the day … a few things to accomplish … and off I went, determined to check things off my list today.

Trying to be efficient, on my way past the fridge, I grabbed a bagel … coffee was cold from when Randy left earlier in the day … ok,  let's try the bulletproof coffee "pumpkin pie latte style" … bc I had developed the recipe yesterday, all the ingredients were at the ready except the bullet part and that was easily accessed as well.  Into the microwave went the coconut creamer, the pumpkin, the pumpkin pie spices, the maple syrup … next goes the coffee  … both into my ninja blender … lid in place … with intent,  I grab the handle of the blender, headed toward my moment in the porch swing. But as I turn my attention toward the base of the blender, a pumpkin/maple/dry spice/ coconut milk /coffee BULLET went off in my kitchen as the blender bowl crashed to the floor and all the hot contents are forced out in a crime scene that included my kitchen floor, dining room floor, kitchen wall, foyer wall, cabinets, doors, appliances … you’re getting this picture, right? Pumpkin and dry spices are not water soluble … just in case you aren’t grasping the mess here …

In simultaneous moments, my mind had these two thoughts … What in the world was I thinking? And, this is going to be very painful to clean up!

The memory of how much it hurt to lean on my knee the night before ON THE COUCH sent hot, angry tears streaming down my cheeks as I considered the necessity of cleaning up this mess I had made. Adding insult to injury, I was trapped in my mess … the only way out was through.

Let that thought settle in this morning. Sometimes when we are trapped in our own mess … the only way out … is through. And if it isn't our first rodeo in mess-making ... the thought of having to do this all over again ... well, overwhelming may not cover the range of emotions.

As I made my way to my mop and bucket then back into my kitchen, I was fairly certain I was leaving a pumpkin trail, but I refused to look back and see what I was leaving behind because I still had to figure out how in the world I was going to clean up this colossal mess. My mind was reeling as I looked for the tools I knew necessary … because the hurt in my mind is so fresh from last night, I came up immediately with solutions … God, you could send someone to my door to help me clean this up … maybe Randy could arrive unexpectedly and help me … if only Jena were home … if only I hadn’t stupidly fell in the first place … the conversations in my head were not productive …

and then a still, small voice whispered … “I have some things I want to show you … wipe up as much of the as you can with paper towel, fill the rinse bucket with really hot water … fill the sink with cleaning water and do this a little at a time … and listen to My Voice.”

So with some pain, I wiped up as much as I could just bending at the waist, I moved mats and stools and a few things that were on the floor, filled the rinse water bucket with hot water and lowered it to the floor … I filled the sink, poured a little lemony cleaner into the steamy water and as I began to listen to His Voice he said …

“How much easier would this be if you could just get down on your hands and knees!”  

And I realized that I had avoided getting down on my hands and knees to clean up this area because in my heart, I knew how dirty it was under the cabinets and under the mats and beside the fridge. But I didn’t want to take the time to put in the hard work to get it really clean … I just wanted to do my weekly “a lick and promise” clean up so that from a distance, there was the appearance of clean. But in reality, there was an unseen sticky mess under the mat, a spider web in the base of the kitchen stool, cobwebs under the fridge and I’m serious I have NO IDEA what that was under the cabinet base.

And that’s when He began to show me Truth.

How much is my own heart just like my pumpkin nightmare? I know there’s some work to be done … sin to be removed, dirt that needs tending to, repairs that need mending, a few sticky messes in places which aren’t evident at first glance, cobwebs where I’ve given up and things I can’t even identify where I’ve given in. Oh, I do enough clean up to make everything presentable from a distance, but when you get up close and personal, there’s such evidence of the need for a deep clean. And how much easier would it have been to spend the time on my knees, letting the Holy Spirit do it’s refining, cleansing work on a daily basis, rather than pushing things to the side, sweeping them under the mat, refusing to look closely at what was right before my eyes and going on to things that brought more immediate pleasure. But then comes the “bullets” of  a life that is not bulletproof bringing us painfully to our knees, realizing that there’s a lot of dirt we have to wade through to find clean again. And, just like me with my banged up knee, we are helpless to do this the easy way. We have to listen to the voice of the Father who plots the course for us and then takes us gently through the process of cleaning out the unkempt places in our heart.

Perhaps you find yourself as I did in the midst of a crime scene this morning. Maybe the bullet launched was from your own actions … or possibly it’s the shrapnel from bullets sent in by our adversary. Regardless of the circumstance, the triage of scripture is the same! Will you settle yourself before His Throne, even if you can only bend from the waist.

Ps. 71:1-3
In you, Oh Lord, do I take refuge;
Let me never be put to shame!
In your righteousness deliver me and rescue me;
Incline your ear to me, and save me!
Be to me a rock of refuge,
To which I may continually come;
You have given the command to save me
For you are my rock and my fortress.

Romans 7:21- 8:1

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being. But I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in  my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord, So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Ps 51:7
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me and I shall be whiter than snow.

mission devotions

The sermon today isn't available yet. I know because I just looked ... I was pretty sure that it wouldn't be, but I was so moved by what Scott taught today that I had to spend some time reflecting over it with you!

He began the heart of the message by asking the question ... "Why Am I Here?" and took us back to the beginning ... like as in Genesis 1. Now, lots of people have read Genesis 1. I have renewed my interest in this text as I have started teaching science again this year. I am absolutely fascinated by the Creation Story! I have become thoroughly convinced that belief in a literal 7 day creation story is foundational to our Christian walk. In Genesis 3 ... the serpent begins to chip away at the foundation of the woman's faith in God's sovereignty by asking the question "Did God really say that?"

Eve had no reason to doubt Adam's word ... but because the negative seed was planted by Satan, that doubt grew into questioning ... and questioning into rebellion.

WOW ... The real downfall began when the serpent began to infiltrate Eve's mind with DOUBT ... subtle doubt at first ... not doubting God, but 1st doubting her helpmeet ... Adam.

Had Adam failed her in some way that deserved her doubt? They were in the land of pleasure and delight ... the Garden of Eden.

Had he forgotten to take out the garbage, not been sweet enough when the snuggled up last night, spent more time tending the animals than making her feel special?

Yet doubt entered. And sin was quickly on its heels ...

chipping away at the foundation ...

TRUST

Let's look back at the dialogue between Eve and the serpent. In Gen 3:1b the serpent says, "Did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden?"

Now, I wasn't there ... it's taking some liberty to give voice to this snake ... but can you not hear his voice dripping with disgust?

Really, really did God say you can't eat from any tree? Overstating the case, knowing the seed of truth that existed - there was only one forbidden tree - He knew that it would take the hard sell to make his case.  He had to make it sound like they were being deprived because they couldn't have it all! So he planted the seed that they couldn't have any!

Eve responds correctly, The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say "You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it or you will die."

Hold on ... ok ... I'm taking liberty again, but after all, I am a daughter of Eve ... I know what wells up in my mind as I read those words ...

I start out strong ... We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden ... and then the words of the serpent, the condesending tone in his voice (the you gotta be kidding-tone), the question that he placed before me (Are you really that stupid?) ... slams headlong into the truth ... and doubt creeps in. My faith waivers ... and the unthinkable word comes out ... BUT ... and I turn my eyes away from Jesus and toward the serpent and lean into what he is saying ...

Can't you just see her ... me ... casting her eyes downward, shuffling her feet like a 10 year old, "yeah, but He did say we couldn't eat from the tree in the middle (the most beautiful one) and if we touch it we'll die (what's so special about the one in the middle that we would surely die?? and if it's that special, why wouldn't He want me to have any?)"

Shame creeps over me even at this very moment knowing how often I have treated God's boundaries with this sort of wishy-washy selfishness! Oh, I have my own high-horse issues ... what we commonly refer to as 'the big sins' ... you know, the ones that we can talk about in lofty terms because the rubber of our tires of life never really meet that road today (even though in truth they did, at another time in life, when today's friends didn't know me. Sound at all familiar?) ... you make your list, I have mine!

My life is littered with times where I questioned whether what God said is what He meant. L.I.T.T.E.R.E.D.

For many years I believed that God's Word was filled with stuff I couldn't do ... not stuff I shouldn't do, stuff that would bring death to the spirit in me, stuff that harms me ...  Just me being petulant and childish and looking at what I couldn't do ... pushing out my lower lip and stamping my foot.

Who am I that I should think myself worthy of questioning the HOLY GOD/CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE??

And yet I find myself right back where I started ... with a question ... not the question Scott asked that I thought I was going to start with ... Why Am I Here? exactly ... but a question ... Who Am I?  What Do I Think I'm Doing ... and it's almost like at this season of my life I have to ask that question before I can even get to the "What am I doing here?" question!!!

Because here's the deal ... Before I can look at Why I'm here and how I relate to God, Myself, Others and His Creation ... I have to reposition myself to see that in that equation, it is God that is on the very top rung of that ladder. It really doesn't matter why I think I'm here, if I don't first realize that I am here primarily to bring Glory and Honor to the most high God.

Oh, it matters why God placed me here ... and I am here to relate.  Just like the sermon today said I'm purposed to relate to God, to myself, to others and to His Creation ... God's plan matters.

And He's calling me to remember that it matters more than my plans. Jer. 29:11 says, ‘ “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “'

In the New International Amy Version it often reads, "Do you know the plans I have for myself Lord? Are you listening? Hey God, pay attention here ... Now, make me rich and don't let anything bad happen to me while I walk around out here in this big world, okay, yeah you created the world, I know, but Lord have you seen all the cool things around today ... if I could only have _______ then my future would be great!”

It's funny, this morning I found myself kneeling at an alter thanking God for changes in my home, for the blessing of a son, provision for my family ... asking Him to ????draw a friend, ????comfort a boy, heal a baby, a woman, a marriage, protect a soldier and give direction in a new venture - pleading with Him to keep me out of the way because I am persuaded that this idea of protecting our testimony is so life changing!

And He answers.  Again.

So I'll move into this week not wondering, "God, is that what you really said for me to do?" But I will go in whole-heartedly, knowing that Your Word stands on its own, Your call is irrevocable and my obedience is required.

Lord Jesus, keep my eyes fixed on you even as the enemy tries to whisper in my ear that surely I misunderstood ... misunderstood what You have for me to do, who I am in You, my value to those who love me and the circumstances of my day!